Last Season on “The Enchanted”

(Fall 2016)

 Prologue:

Snow White thought she had found true love, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened next…

Snow:

“Dennis is someone I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. When he didn’t choose me at the final ceremony it was like someone had cut out my heart.

After the show I was devastated and went into hiding. I couldn’t eat and all I did was sleep – day and night.

It took me a while to get over my heartbreak, but now I’m back and realize I still believe in fairytale endings:

I’m ready to open myself up to love again!”

I: The Introduction 

I immediately regret letting wardrobe talk me into wearing these heels. I’ve always been a little self-conscious about my height and now I’m paranoid one of these stilettos is going to get caught in the cobblestone and I’ll go flying head first!

Waiting for the first limo to pull into the driveway feels like an eternity. Finally — here comes one now! I wonder who I will be meeting first…oh…the P.A. didn’t mention I’d be greeting everyone at once. Oh my god — are they seriously making them fall into a line formation and serenade me? 

This is off to a weird start…

II: The Contestants

Number one:

Steve seems nice. He is definitely way older than most of the men I’ve dated, but I know my dad would be thrilled if I married a Doctor. 

Number two:

Riley is so my type, but this ultra laid back attitude I sense; it’s hard to tell if he’s here for the right reasons or just one of those guys you hook up with, but don’t invest in.

Number three:

Alan seems so awkward and shy; the way he blushed when I complimented him on his tie was adorable.

Number four:

Carl is ripped! I think it’s become mandatory for casting to choose at least one personal trainer every season. He’s a little high on gruff and low on charm and could potentially be a nightmare in the cottage.

Number five:

Poor Glen. The crew is going to have to keep the medicine cabinet stocked with antihistamines if he’s to even make it through the first week.

Number six:

I get the whole bed-head look, but it’s like Brendon didn’t make any effort at all when getting ready tonight. 

Number seven:

Joe has a smile that would light up a room and I instantly feel like we’ve known each other forever, but I don’t know if I feel any physical attraction. 

III: Cocktail Hour 

The cocktail reception is going well, but I am completely stressing out about who I should give the First Impression Apple to? Carl already has a few drinks under his hat and is starting to get pretty aggressive with the others. I can hear him holding court right now teasing poor Glen about his allergies.

The producers have already pulled me aside once tonight to ask me to consider keeping Carl on for at least a few group dates. I know the game. Every season needs a villain; just look how long Dennis kept Queenie last season. If she had spent half her time actually getting to know him instead of primping and preening in front of the mirror all day, the show might have casted her this season instead of me.

Alright, it’s time for me to head to the glass chamber and make my decision… 

IV: The Decision

I think I made the right choice sending Joe home tonight. He didn’t appear too upset when I walked him out — in fact he had this huge grin on his face as he climbed into the limo.

I guess he wasn’t really into me either.

Epilogue:

Well, that’s a wrap! I forgot how exhausting this whole experience can be. The crew is coming to pick me up at 7am tomorrow to shoot our first group date. There had been some early discussion about getting us to repel down a mineshaft and excavate for diamonds. The producer wanted to use the gem in the engagement ring setting for the proposal episode, but the director told me they were running into huge headaches with the unions. The production schedule has us slated to do axe-throwing instead. That should be fun.